On Dining with Strangers at Thanksgiving

On Dining with Strangers at Thanksgiving

We’re all strangers.

With all of the current heartfelt discussion about welcoming “strangers” into our country, I thought I’d return to some basic facts from history — and the Bible — about this feast we call Thanksgiving! 

When my kiddos were little, the pre-schools and elementary schools always had Thanksgiving feasts. For these sweet occasions, I was often given the opportunity to create a Pilgrim costume out of paper bags (and thanks be to God for the schools who did that for us poor parents :-)!!) or an “Indian” costume (as the first Americans were called then) out of a t-shirt, some brown dye, and some scissors (and again, for all of you schoolteachers who did that for us…my eternal thanks:-)!

As pretty as that tableau was, it only resembled part of the real first Thanksgiving, according to Joanna Brooks, writing about the first pilgrims for Smithsonian Magazine. For many of the immigrants to America, life was characterized by starvation, poverty, fighting, and murder. But somehow in the midst of the mess, some of these strangers came together and made a feast. Ever-so-briefly, there was ever-so-tentative peace on earth.

Will you dine with strangers?

As Christians, God has called us to a feast of thanks-giving. Together, we recall that God redeemed and transformed broken, sinful people. Christ fed us physically, with bread and wine, and spiritually, with his body sacrificed to redeem and renew us.

In a few days, you may be sitting at table with a fractured community (or you may be NOT sitting at table because of fractured community). My Thanksgiving prayer for all of us is that we can remember that we were once far off — from God — and from one another, and that our Savior brought us near:

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. Eph. 2:13

This Savior, who broke down the dividing wall of hostility, brought us together to feast and thank God as one. For this reason, this Thanksgiving, may we accept invitations to dine with strangers — even those in our own family! As we do, may we dream of a day when the feasting will be centered around the greatest stories ever told of the goodness of the Lord. Here is some Scripture that you may enjoy reading aloud alone or together as an encouragement to celebrate with hope:

Isaiah 25: 6-10, The Message
But here on this mountain, God-of-the-Angel-Armies
will throw a feast for all the people of the world,
A feast of the finest foods, a feast with vintage wines,
a feast of seven courses, a feast lavish with gourmet desserts.
And here on this mountain, God will banish
the pall of doom hanging over all peoples,
The shadow of doom darkening all nations.
Yes, he’ll banish death forever.
And God will wipe the tears from every face.
He’ll remove every sign of disgrace
From his people, wherever they are.
Yes! God says so!
Also at that time, people will say,
“Look at what’s happened! This is our God!
We waited for him and he showed up and saved us!
This God, the one we waited for!
Let’s celebrate, sing the joys of his salvation.
God’s hand rests on this mountain!”

 

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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Memorial Day: A Soldier’s Story of Joy and Sorrow

Memorial Day: A Soldier’s Story of Joy and Sorrow

Remembering a Soldier’s Story

Today, Memorial Day, we celebrate and remember those who have died to defend our nation’s freedom. Although he did not die in defending our nation’s freedom, my grandfather, a soldier who served on a battleship before and during World War II, lost much to the war. A few years ago, my dad handed me an apple box spilling over with yellowed black and white photographs. 

“I figured you would want to know some of your grandfather’s story,” he said gruffly. You bet this story girl did want to know.

Since my granddaddy died when I was seven, I had not known him very well. I had asked my Dad about my grandfather, but most of his stories centered around battleships and World War II, not on who my grandfather was. As I leafed through the memorabilia my grandfather had collected as a young man as well as some my grandmother had added to the collection, , I learned bits of one sailor’s story, a complex tale of adventure and ambiguity. I understood my grandfather’s story better, my father’s story better, and the stories of our current soldiers and families who sacrifice to protect our nation’s freedom. Our heroes’ lives may be laced with suffering, but they are also plentiful with redemption.

From Alabama to Australia

My granddaddy grew up in Abbeville, Alabama on an old homestead. My granddaddy’s father made his money in timber but was remembered most by my dad for his remarkable capacity to sit on the porch and drink “liquid fire”. My granddaddy, whose given name was “Charley Jack Reynolds,” like many young men of that time, decided at seventeen years old to run away and see the world as a sailor in the U.S. Navy. He was good with his hands, so he became a machinist.

In the boxes, I found photo albums filled with postcards my granddaddy presumably purchased in places almost as far away from Alabama as he could be, most notably the Pacific. “Natives in Samoa” reads the caption on one; “Pre-Luau” and “Post-Luau” reads another. The Melbourne Art Museum; vast, prickly pineapple fields in Hawaii; and locks surrounding the Panama Canal tell the story of a young sailor who took in culture and keenly observed history even as he made it.

A Love Story and the Next Generation

At home on leave, my granddaddy, upon seeing his future wife acting in a play, famously vowed, “I’m going to marry that girl someday.”  A smart and perky young woman from a family that had lost everything, she worked her way through school and graduated valedictorian from Newton Normal School in Newton, Alabama. She went on to Howard College (now Samford University—she would be thrilled to know her great-grandson graduated from there!), where she trained to be a teacher.

Lala and Charley Jack had one son, my Dad, who was named Robert, after his grandfather. My Dad was given the middle name Charles—after my granddaddy, whose name my grandmother had apparently converted from “Charley Jack” to “Charles Jackson,” a more educated sounding name, a name that might suit a sailor rising in the naval ranks. (I still remember addressing letters to them as “Mr. and Mrs. Charles Jackson Reynolds,” until one day my Dad suggested that “C.J.” would be more accurate).

Happy Times and Sad

From the photos you can see that they enjoyed seasons as a happy family. There were times when both my Grandfather and my Dad smiled when their pictures were taken.

But there were also the days following Pearl Harbor when my grandmother and my father waited in darkness, huddled by a gas stove, fearing that the Japanese would bomb the base where they lived in San Pedro. In those days, naval officers came and went to neighbors’ homes, delivering dreaded news of husbands and fathers killed in the attack. After eleven days of waiting, the card arrived, carried by a mailman. The card was cryptic; the photo says it better than I could:

My granddaddy had been on a supplier ship stationed in Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. As my dad puts it, he had a “ringside seat.” Apparently, his ship sailed quickly after the attack. Just around Christmas that year, my granddaddy finally made it home for a couple of days, bringing with him a gift his buddies had purchased for my dad, who was seven at the time—a Red Ryder BB Gun. That’s what my dad remembers about Pearl Harbor. Apparently, my grandfather never spoke about it much. Apparently, he smiled less often after that.

A diabetic, my granddaddy retired in Pensacola, and my grandmother continued teaching. One day, at the relatively young age of seventy-one, as he was tending his rosebush in the back yard, he was struck down quickly by a heart attack. In a small box I found his death certificate, a list of funeral attendees, the legal announcement in the paper regarding the estate of “Charley Jack Reynolds, a.k.a, Charley J. Reynolds,” and a formal business card with the name, Charles Jackson Reynolds, Lieutenant, United States Navy. Like many soldiers, he had many names to go along with his many stories.

A Good Read for Hard Times: The Waiting Room Devotional

5 Quotes for When Parenting Is Hard

5 Quotes for When Parenting Is Hard

In the third post of our series about mothers, we include mothers and fathers and grandparents.

As we all know, parenting isn’t always cute coos and infant smiles. When the toddler or teenage screams overwhelm you, when parenting is hard, these five quotes from parents and grandparents will encourage you.

Ann Voskamp

I never expected that a mother’s labor and delivery never ends — and you never stop having to remember to breathe.
I didn’t know that taking the path of most resistance often leads to the most reward.
I didn’t know that you kids would birth me deeper into God and I didn’t know that you’d drive me crazy and I didn’t know how you’d drive me to the Cross….
And the Gospel has never stopped being the good news headline that I’ve needed every day because I’ve been the one breaking.

Scotty Smith

Dear heavenly Father, yet again we turn to you as the designer and builder of all things, including the lives of our children and grandchildren. Thank you for reminding us that our children are a gift, not a project.
At times you’ve had to use a gospel wrecking ball on my parenting style in order to build something more lasting and beautiful. That process continues. But even when I’m overbearing or under believing, disengaged or too enmeshed, I am thankful to know that you remain faithful and loving.
Continue to rescue me from relational “laboring in vain” — assuming a burden you never intended parents to bear. Father, only you can reveal the glory and grace of Jesus to our children.

Scott Sauls

It is hard for a controlling type-A to surrender anything, especially the author rights to his own children’s stories.

And yet, if their stories were to unfold in unexpected ways — having dreams go unfulfilled, experiencing loss, being brokenhearted, enduring a spiritual crisis — hope would not be lost, because God would still be in control of things. And it is always better for God to be in control of things than for us to be in control of things.

Dan Allender

Nothing my son or daughters will do can alter the plan and passion of God. There are ultimately no mistakes in life. There are sins and failures, to be sure, but no mistakes. And nothing that is inscribed in the text of one’s life is not ultimately authored by a merciful God….
The collapse of our dreams or their rise, the kindness and fidelity of those we love, are all the scribbling of a genius God.

Judy Douglass

How? For me, this became the question God kept before me: Could I continue to receive this boy as a gift? Slowly the Father opened my eyes and heart to see the many ways God had blessed me.

He drove me into God’s arms….
My heavenly Father welcomed me into his loving arms, captured all my tears, listened to me cry out, yell at him, and beg him. When I was ready to give up, he held me up with his righteous right arm, sharing his strength and courage with me.

He taught me to pray.

I’m a ministry leader. I thought I knew how to pray. But this boy kept me on my knees. Yes, I asked, beseeched, and pleaded. And I lamented. I confessed. I reminded God what his Word said. I thanked. I listened. All of the above, almost all the time.

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A Good Read for Hard Times: The Waiting Room Devotional

How (and Why) to Write Your Mother’s Story

How (and Why) to Write Your Mother’s Story

As we continue our focus on moms, this week we consider our own moms or mother figures in our lives. 

A story about writing a mother’s story

It had never occurred to me before, and I don’t know why it occurred to me now. We had been asked in a writer’s workshop I was attending to tell a story about bones, possibly broken bones. Well, I have a great broken bone story, so I was ready to dive right in. I would tell the story I’ve told many times before, about the day I shattered my elbow into twenty-five pieces when I was eleven. Our teacher set a timer for fifteen minutes and told us to write what happened.

That’s when it occurred to me, and I have to admit, I felt a little selfish that I’m almost fifty-seven years old, and it had never occurred to me before. I wondered, “What was that day like for my mom?” That’s when I decided to write the story from her perspective. Instead of telling my version of the story, I tried to picture what that day had been like for her. I began to write what I imagined might have happened. I wrote quickly for fifteen minutes and still had more to write when the timer ended.

How it changed me:

Rather than sharing what I wrote that day, I want to share what happened inside of me as I wrote what my mom might have gone through in that season:

Tears began to leak down my cheeks. I actually felt the terror she might have felt when she answered the phone and a strange voice on the other end of the line reported, “Your daughter has been in a bike accident!”

I wondered in writing:

  • What did it feel like for her when the policeman at the accident scene remarked, “Isn’t that her bone sticking out of her arm”?
  • What stress did she endure as a single working mom when her daughter was admitted to the hospital for three weeks?
  • What was it like to worry about the financial burden of two surgeries and countless hours of physical therapy placed on her and her ex-husband?

I felt something swelling inside of me—I’m pretty sure it was empathy for my mother.

The time has come but not passed (thankfully) for me to ask these questions and others about her stories. That day, I concluded my invented story with this observation:

When I was a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. The time has come to think like a grown-up daughter, to wonder about my mother’s story. The time has come to seek and to knock, to ask forgiveness and to forgive, to… Share on X

If you’d like to try writing your mother’s story, I created a full story journal with guidelines, multiple prompts, and a few reflection questions for all of my wonderful Living Story subscribers. You can get that free resource by subscribing here.

If you prefer a briefer version of just this particular prompt, try the instructions below:

 

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How to write a story from your mother’s point of view:

  1. Choose a significant event from your life that your mother was involved in in some way.
  2. Don’t worry about grammar or sentence structure or any “English teacher” type things. Just tell the story.
  3. Try to show what happened:
    • Describe the setting.
    • Write the dialogue: For example: What did the stranger say when he or she called my mom? How did my mom reply?
    • Consider your mother’s season and circumstance and how your life event might have affected her.
  4. Write down everything you can remember about it.
  5. Now, imagine what that event was like for her. See it through her eyes.
  6. At the end, write what you see now about your mother that you did not see before.
  7. Do you see any ways that your love, empathy, and/or forgiveness toward your mom grew through this exercise?
  8. If your mom is still alive, consider asking your mom about this event. Ask her to tell you the story from her point of view.

Questions to consider as you try to write from your mom’s perspective:

  • What would have been her struggles in that situation? What stresses might she have endured? What fears or sorrows might she have had?
  • What would she have said to her husband or her friend that she would not have said to you?

For a joyous event:

  • What would she have celebrated?
  • What would she have been most excited about (Remember, it might not be what you were most excited about!)

Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

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A Letter to New Moms: What I Wish I Had Known

A Letter to New Moms: What I Wish I Had Known

It’s not May yet, but Mother’s Day is in less than two weeks. For the next three weeks, we’re going to talk about moms. But if you’re not a mom, please don’t leave:

  • Consider sharing with young moms this week’s letter (you might find yourself nodding even if you’re an “old mom” like me);
  • Stay tuned for next week when we talk about how (and why) to tell some of your stories from your mother’s point of view
  • Snap up five quotes for when parenting is hard.

For today, enjoy these musings on the struggles and joys of being a new mom:

New Moms May Struggle for Control and Competence

The bad news: Out (or in) comes the baby—out flies control and competence! 

As a new mom, you will quickly realize that you have lost control and perhaps a sense of competence. In your former life as an English teacher, you knew what you were doing, but with childbirth, your life is flooded with uncertainty.

  • That 6 hour epidural-free labor you planned — how about a 33-hour pitocin induction instead?
  • That 2-year-old you thought would never scream in the super market? Just hand over the gummy vitamins!

The good news: Being a new mom will humble you — I mean — flat-out-on-the-floor humble. 

Being a new mom will literally drive you to your knees, and while you’re down there fetching toys or changing a diaper, you might as well pray: A LOT! You will become, ironically, like a child, clinging to your Abba Father for moment-by-moment mercy.

Being a new mom will literally drive you to your knees—and while you're there, you might as well pray! #momlife #motherhood Share on X

New Moms May Struggle with a Sense of Shame and Failure

THE BAD NEWS: Being a new mom is a daily exercise in not-enoughness.

  • When that baby won’t sleep through the night the way What to Expect 21st C. edition promised it would, you might feel that you are flawed.
  • When you start shouting because your teething toddler won’t stop screaming, you will know you are flawed!

THE GOOD NEWS: It is good to know you are not-enough. You never were. Christ is enough, more than enough. The freedom and hope of the gospel is that our love and patience and kindness for our children grows as we enjoy God’s love and patience and kindness toward us.

You will grow in your understanding that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), and you will show your child what she most needs to know: in Christ, there is always hope for repentance and forgiveness; we never have to stay in shame or condemnation!

New Moms Don’t Have the Power to Make the Story Go our Way

THE BAD NEWS:  Your parenting story, your child’s story, like the six-hour epidural-free labor you hoped for, will not often turn out the way you imagined it.

As you learn ever so quickly, even if you do things just right, there are no guarantees that what you do is going to “work.”

  • You nurse every two hours, just as the lactation consultant told you, but your milk still isn’t coming in.
  • You teach that 10-month-old-early-walker the word “no,” and you even try to distract her. She pauses long enough to shoot you a look you will see again when she is a teenager. Then she goes ahead and climbs on the kitchen chair.

THE GOOD NEWS: God is writing a better story than we could ever imagine. He is redeeming our hearts as we let go of control and competence, as we humble ourselves and depend on Him, as we rest in his more-than-enough love for us!

From this old mom to all you new moms, take heart. You will likely struggle with some of these heart issues all of your parenting life, but the good news is that God is making all things new, redeeming our hearts and our children’s hearts through the sorrows and the joys.

A Prayer for New Moms

Lord, we bow before you, the only perfect parent. Wrap us, we pray, in your mothering wings, protecting us and nurturing us, even as we seek to nurture these children you have written into our stories. When we think we can’t change one more dirty diaper today or deal with one more toddler tantrum, give us the strength to endure, and the compassion to love. When we feel like complete failures because our kids are disobeying or not working the plan we had written for the day, help us to know your delight in us and our children. As we try to meet our children’s needs, help us to come to you as your children, knowing that you have called all who are weary and heavy-laden. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

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5 Verses for Meditating on Christ’s Sacrifice for Us

5 Verses on Meditating on Christ’s Sacrifice for Us

It’s a crazy story when you think about it—a perfect Savior dies for a people who are, shall we say, less than perfect—or, let’s be honest—just plain sinful? As Easter approaches, take some time to meditate on the surprising sacrifice Christ made for us.

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

This is how we have come to know love: He laid down his life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

And walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood.

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A Good Read for Hard Times: The Waiting Room Devotional