Hi Friends,
It’s summer, and a great time to slow down and tell some stories. This is a “rerun” (remember reruns?) of one of my most popular posts—I hope it encourages and equips you to share some of your stories this summer.
I was in a hurry.
My morning walk at Bayview Park had lasted a few minutes too long, and now I needed to get to my golf clinic. But first, I needed to make a restroom stop, and since the senior center at the park offered the closest clean restroom, I decided to run in there.
A Story about Slowing Down to Give and Get a Hug
As I approached the building, a small freckle-faced woman with short gray hair held out her hand and smiled at me. “I’m Linda,” she said.
I thought, “There must be an event here today, and maybe she’s the greeter. Or maybe she’s new and trying to meet people.”
I stopped and shook her hand, smiling back. “I’m Elizabeth. How are you today?”
She told me she was fine. Then I asked her if she was attending an event inside the senior center this morning.
She looked toward the door and said, “Yes, but it’s not quite time.” I then asked her if she had lived in Pensacola long, and she seemed a little uncertain. She said something about living in Brownsville, Texas, and that she had moved on the first day of the year…what did they call that?
“New Year’s Day?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said.
By this point, I was thinking I really needed to hurry if I was going to make my golf clinic on time, and I said, “Well, it was nice meeting you.”
She looked down and then looked back up at me, with the wistful look of a small child.
She said, “I’m a sad puppy today. Can I get a hug?”
Oh my goodness. “Yes, you can get a hug,” I told her. And I folded my tall body around her small, fragile one, wishing for all the world that I could convey the comfort this precious lonely stranger needed in that brief moment.
Why do I tell you this story?
Well, for several reasons.
First, because it stopped me in my hurry. And I have been hearing the phrase, “Don’t hurry,” from the Holy Spirit, for months now. “Slow down, Elizabeth. What’s your hurry?”
Slow down, Elizabeth, and you might just get to give a hug and get a hug from a stranger who might just be an angel.
Slow down, Elizabeth, because there are a lot of people out there who need hugs. There are a lot of people out there, especially older ones, who might not have been touched in a long time, and they may just feel like “sad puppies.”
Slow down, Elizabeth, and listen to some stories.
Slow down, Elizabeth, and tell some stories.
As I slow down to tell this story, I hope that you too will slow down to remember some stories of your own. As you remember these stories, I hope you will share them with someone else. As you share them with someone else, I hope they will offer their stories too.
As this chain of sharing and listening to stories begins, it may just be like giving and getting hugs from the Holy Spirit. It may just remind you of God’s love for you and remind you of how you are called to love others. This daisy chain of stories may remind you of how God has rescued and redeemed you, and it may remind you of how he has sent you into the world to bring the hope of that redemption to others.
Story Feasting
Thirty years ago, I created a structure for story-sharing which I call Story Feasting. As I think about numbering our days, realizing that our days are indeed limited, it seems even more crucial to share our stories and to listen to others’ stories. As we share our stories, we have the opportunity to show people the goodness of God in our lives. As we listen to others’ stories, we give them the great gift of an encircling hug, the welcome of hearing their story, and the kindness of holding their story in a safe place.
Now that I am in my sixties, I see story feasting as a crucial way to pass on our legacy stories.
Why not invite a few friends to your home or church or assisted living facility this summer to enjoy a story feast? Why not, when your family is gathered together for a graduation or a wedding or Memorial Day or the Fourth of July, have a story feast? What better way to share your legacy than this!
If you’d like to have a story feast this summer, see the suggested instructions below. If you’d like a free handout with guide and story prompts you can share with others, consider subscribing to my monthly newsletter where I share a roundup of resources on aging, caregiving, legacy, and end-of-life.
Food for the Feast
Invite everyone to bring something. You can choose a theme or just go with pot luck. Do an entire meal or make it simpler with appetizers or desserts. Also, tell people they can bring any favorite food, homemade or not. This way you get to hear stories about favorite foods too (and you also might get some new recipes!)
Story Topics
There are as many story topics as there are stories, but here are a few to get you started:
• best/worst school story
• a story of rescue
• traditions of holidays: Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, etc.
• first job story or work story
• stories of waiting
• vacation stories
Our Bible study group used to choose a theme related to our Bible study and take a break from our regular study to have a story feast.
Help People Write Their Stories
While people do not have to write out their stories, doing so can help them stay on track, and it also allows the story to be saved as a legacy story. Remind participants that no one is grading their story, and encourage them to put aside concerns about perfect grammar and spelling.
Here is one way to approach writing a story to share:
- Set aside 15 minutes. Brainstorm by writing down topics/titles that come to mind.
- Set aside 15 minutes. Choose a topic, and answer a few questions about it. Here are some questions to consider:
- Describe the senses — what you heard, tasted, felt, saw, smelled…etc.
- Who were the people involved?
- What happened? Was there a conflict? Was there a resolution?
- What did you or do you see about God in the story?
- Is there any redemption or revelation in the story?
- Set aside 15 minutes again. Using the questions above, write out the story. Try to keep it rather short — around one to two pages. Sharing time is usually limited to around 7-10 minutes at the feast.
Plan the Feast
Although sometimes stories just come out as we linger around the table or living room together, often the time needs to be a little more structured.
- Allot a certain amount of time for eating, then gather to share stories.
- Give an allotted time — usually around 7-10 minutes works well. (Tell your guests ahead of time, so they will know they won’t have time to share every detail).
- Begin with a brief gospel-centered devotional or by reading a Scripture related to the topic.
- Remind everyone that they aren’t “required” to tell a story (tell them this when you invite them, too — more people will come:-)! Then remind them it will be fairly dull if no one does. Usually one brave soul begins, and often others decide to tell their story or remember one to tell if they haven’t before. (You can also have participants draw numbers to determine order of sharing, telling them they can pass and share later if they’re not ready when their number comes up.)
- Share stories.
- Provide a little time for feedback or observations. Remind people that they don’t need to try to fix anyone’s problem, just listen carefully, especially for hope and redemption.
After the Feast
After the feast, within a day or so, return to the story and jot down a few new things you noticed after telling your story.
Don’t forget — If you’d like the handout with the guide and prompts, be sure to sign up to receive my monthly newsletter with this resource and other free resources for numbering your days with wisdom and grace.
If you have questions about this process, or if you’d like to do some coaching with me to write or record more of your spiritual legacy stories, please feel free to contact me, or you can reach me at etlivingstory-at-gmail-dot-com.) I’d love to hear from you!
Have you ever written or told stories of your life? What was that experience like?
Hi! I’m Elizabeth, and I love learning about older adulthood! I’m a writer, speaker, and coach who helps people navigate the issues of aging, caregiving, legacy, grief, and end-of-life. I also love to help people write and record the stories of their lives. I wrote Preparing for Glory: Biblical Answers to 40 Questions about Living & Dying in Hope of Heaven and several devotionals. Every month, I send out an email with free and paid resources for aging graciously. If you’d like to get this email on the first of the month, sign up here: http://eepurl.com/b__teX.
Prefer to read this via email or in an app? Find this article on Numbering Your Days with Elizabeth Reynolds Turnage.
