The Calling of Caregiving
During my caregiving journey, I spent seasons caring for aging parents and adult children in crisis. At times, I felt strong and faithful; other times, I felt like I might unravel. What I remember most clearly, though, is how the love and presence of others—friends who prayed, showed up, and reminded me of Jesus’ care—sustained me when I could not sustain myself.
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Dr. Willie Brunetti, who cared for both his father with vascular dementia and his wife with a rare form of frontal lobe dementia, captures the reality of many caregivers: “We were neither prepared nor trained to be a caregiver. We did not volunteer…people we loved needed care and we stepped in and took the job.”
Most of us never sign up for caregiving. We step into it because love requires it. As Brunetti explains, caregiving often begins with a midnight phone call about a stroke or an accident, or a daytime phone call about a dire diagnosis.
And yet, even though few caregivers feel equipped, Scripture tells us that caregiving is a calling. Author Marissa Bondurant reminds us that caregivers are called—by the Lord Jesus himself—to care for the ones entrusted to them.[1] In that calling, the One who calls also cares for us, comforting us in suffering, sustaining us when endurance fizzles, and supplying surprising peace in the midst of chaos.
The Stress and Strain of Caregiving
When her husband was diagnosed with colon cancer, Sally did everything she could to hold her world together. She worked odd hours to keep her job, drove her husband to radiation and chemo appointments, managed the finances, and kept the household running. Over time, she found herself snapping at her husband when he asked her to bring a glass of water, feeling guilty for her irritation, and waking each morning wishing she could crawl under her comforter.
Sally’s irritability and depression are not unusual. Caregivers often report anxiety, resentment, guilt, hopelessness, and difficulty concentrating. Physically, many experience high blood pressure, headaches, insomnia, and other stress-related ailments.[2] Those in the sandwich generation—caring for both aging parents and dependent children—bear an especially heavy load, balancing multigenerational demands of time, energy, and finances.[3]
Caring for the Caregiver: Offering the Comfort of Christ
Research shows that caregivers who receive meaningful support experience less strain and greater resilience.[4] As the church, we have a powerful opportunity to alleviate the caregiver’s burden by offering the comfort of Christ through the tangible care of Christian community. We can come alongside caregivers to shoulder burdens—providing meals, respite, prayer, and presence. Even more importantly, we can remind caregivers that their suffering and sacrifice are not meaningless and that their caregiving serves a purpose.
Finding Meaning in Suffering
Studies show that caregivers who find meaning in their suffering cope more effectively than those who do not.[5] As caregivers change adult diapers, endure hours of waiting at doctors’ offices, and sacrifice personal agendas and comforts, they need to be reminded that their sacrifice and suffering means something to someone. As Christians, we have the hope the gospel offers—all suffering will one day end in joy. Scripture tells us that “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope” (Romans 5:3–5). Our hope rests in the One who transforms even our exhaustion into endurance, our tears into compassion, and our weakness into deeper dependence on Him.
In his study of pastors who were also caregivers, Dr. William Gleason found that many came to see their caregiving as part of God’s sanctifying work. One pastor, pushed to his limits caring for both a foster child and an aging parent, found himself exploding in anger. As much as he hated these explosions, he began to recognize that he had an anger problem, and he sought forgiveness and prayed for transformation of his character.[6]
One pastor realized that caregiving was not a distraction from ministry but preparation for it. Another pastor whose son suffered with mental illness was better able to come alongside a congregant whose daughter had mental disabilities. While he shied away from telling her, “I know how you feel,” he told Gleason, “I really do know how she feels!”[7] As Dr. Gleason concluded, there is “no meaningless suffering” in caregiving. God transforms all suffering for his glorious purposes.
Prayer: An Essential Tool
Prayer is not a last resort—it sustains hope, energy, and endurance. In her research on female African American caregivers, Dr. Doneshia Burns found that every woman interviewed said prayer was essential to her well-being. Interviewees said they prayed for their loved ones, for strength, and for peace in the long nights. One said simply, “I had to pray daily to get through.”[8]
Amy, a caregiver who tended to her husband with dementia and cancer, emphasized the importance of others’ prayers:
“People need to listen to or read the prayer requests and pray for those things, particularly in the hearing of the patient and caregiver. We need to feel heard by those we look to for support. And their prayers must support reality, not the wishes of the one praying.”[9]
We must heed Amy’s point. When we pray for caregivers, we must not minimize their pain but meet them honestly there, crying out to God in lament and with urgency for the very real needs and concerns of the caregiver.
Community: The Gift of Shared Grace
Dr. Burns found that many caregivers feel unappreciated by family. That’s where the church can shine—as true family—the kind that shows up with casseroles, car rides, and compassion.
In Dr. Gleason’s research, one pastor shared how his church board supported him with regular family leave to visit aging parents, freeing him from the guilt of neglecting either family or ministry. Other pastors described the comfort of congregants who checked in regularly, offering steady, faithful friendship.
We, too, can care for caregivers by noticing who’s missing from worship and by calling or texting encouragement. We can offer comforting presence by validating frustrations and listening to concerns without trying to “fix” the complex problems caregiving presents. We can look for specific needs to address, offering to sit with a loved one while the caregiver takes a walk or attends church, bring a meal, mow the lawn, or help organize financial documents. In these ways, we respond to one caregiver’s plea, “Don’t forget us.”
Bearing One Another’s Burdens
Paul’s exhortation in Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” reminds us that caregiving is not a solo endeavor. We were never meant to carry these burdens alone. When we care for the caregivers among us, we become living witnesses to the heart of Christ—the One who bears all our burdens and never grows weary of our need.
Reflect
Have you ever been a caregiver, or are you one now? What has sustained and encouraged you?
Do you know a caregiver? How could you support them today?
Hi! I’m Elizabeth, and I love learning about older adulthood. I’m a writer, speaker, and life and legacy coach who helps people navigate the issues of aging, caregiving, legacy, grief, and end-of-life. I wrote Preparing for Glory: Biblical Answers to 40 Questions about Living & Dying in Hope of Heaven and several devotionals. Every month, I send out an email with free and paid resources for aging graciously. If you’d like to get this email on the first of the month, sign up here: http://eepurl.com/b__teX.
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[i] Willie Brunetti, D. Ed. Min., “The Evolution of the Comfort for Caregiver Series,” https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/evolution-comfort-caregiver-seminar-dr-willie-brunetti-d-ed-min.), accessed October 10, 2025.
[1] Bondurant, Who Cares for You?
[2] William Gleason, Jugglers for the Lord : How “Sandwich Generation” Pastors Care for Multiple Generations of Family Members While Leading Congregations, dissertation, St. Louis: Covenant Theological Seminary, 2019.
[3] Mature Market Institute, MetLife, The Metlife Juggling Act Study: Balancing Caregiving with Work and the Costs Involved, Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press, 1999.
[4] McAndrew et al., “Addressing Existential Distress in Family Caregivers,” British Medical Journal Supportive and Palliative Care, January 8, 2024, doi: 10.1136/spcare-2023-004448.
[5] McAndrew et al., “Addressing Existential Distress in Family Caregivers.”
[6] Gleason, 109
[7] Gleason, 122.
[8] Burns, “The Psychological and Spiritual Experiences of Christian Caregivers of Physically or Mentally Disabled Family Members,” 2024, 124.
[9] Simonetta Carr, “How to Support the Caregivers in Your Church,” May 8, 2025.
