A Prayer about Loving God and Loving Others

by Elizabeth | Mar 13, 2024 | Daily Prayer, Gospel living, Spiritual Growth

A Prayer about Loving God and Loving Others

‘And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

Mark 12:30-31

Triune God,

In a day when hatred seems more common than love,

when mocking seems more common than meekness,

when taking offense seems more common than taking up our cross,

we confess, the greatest commandment seems impossible.

And yet, you have not only called us to love you

with all of our beings, our hearts, our souls, our minds, our strength,

you have empowered us through your Spirit to do so.

You have not only called us to love you in this way,

but you have called us to love our neighbors

(including strangers and enemies)

as much as we love ourselves (which we have to admit, is a lot!)

Thank you for Jesus, who loved us,

Your enemies,

so much that he died

so that we might become your friends.

May we live and love

out of our gratitude

for his sacrifice

and out of the power

of his resurrection.

In Jesus’ loving name. Amen.

Read Mark 12:28-34.

A Prayer about a King Riding a Donkey

by Elizabeth | Mar 12, 2024 | Daily Prayer, Gospel living, Spiritual Growth

A Prayer about a King Riding a Donkey

Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your king is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is he, humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. Zechariah 9:9

Everlasting King,

As we approach the anniversary of the day

Jesus entered Jerusalem as a king riding on a donkey,

give us eyes to see him and minds to comprehend this amazing vision.

The prophet Zechariah foretold this day,

exhorting the people of Israel:

Rejoice greatly!

Shout aloud!

Why? Because their King of Hope

was coming to make them prisoners of hope.

The King of Hope came,

not riding on a massive white horse

befitting a king

but on a young donkey,

a humble ride for a humble ruler.

And he has won our peace,

our peace with God,

and our peace with one another.

This Easter, may we join in the chorus of rejoicing

at our humble king,

who would defeat death

and make us forever his “prisoners of hope” (Zechariah 9:12).

In Jesus’ humble name. Amen.

Read Zechariah 9:9-17

Coping with Grief During the Holidays: Six Ways to Grieve with Hope

by Elizabeth | Mar 12, 2024 | Grief, Suffering

Coping with Grief During the Holidays: Six Ways to Grieve with Hope

Dear Friends,

As we enter the holiday season, I am all too aware that many of you are grieving the loss of a loved one or the loss of health for yourself or for a loved one. Two years ago, the first holiday season after my mom had died, I described my grief this way: “I feel a little like I’m in a hotel room groping in the dark to find the light switch. The terrain is unfamiliar, and I’ve already bumped into the desk a few times.”

Whether you have lost a loved one this year or caregiving has rearranged your life, the holidays can stir up grief like a windstorm in the desert. Maybe you are not in the storm of grief but know someone who is. Would you share this article with them? When we enter the season aware of the potential struggles, we’re more likely to walk through it with hope and kindness. Here are six ways I’ve discovered to cope with grief during the holidays.

1. Acknowledge the reality, and accept the normalcy of your grief.

Because so much is flying at us during the holidays, we can forget that we have lost something significant. Then, when we cry messy tears during a cheesy holiday movie or dread decorating the Christmas tree, we are taken by surprise.

Jesus led us in acknowledging his own grief over Lazarus’ death, weeping loudly, even though he knew he was about to raise him from the dead (See John 11). If Jesus grieved, then we are in good company in our grief. Jesus invites us to rest in him in our grief.

2. Don’t compare your grief to another’s.

You might look at me and think, “She just lost her mother three years ago, but I lost my mother five years ago. Why is she writing blogs about grief when all I want to do is sleep?” No matter what you might have learned in high school psychology class, grief experts say there’s no such thing as a clear and orderly five stages of grief. Psychiatrist David P. Feldman, Ph. D., comments, “In fact, the actual grief process looks a lot less like a neat set of stages and a lot more like a roller coaster of emotions. Even Kubler-Ross said that grief doesn’t proceed in a linear and predictable fashion, writing toward the end of her career that she regretted her stages had been misunderstood.” (David Feldman, Why the Five Stages of Grief Are Wrong).

God has created each of us with a unique personality and has written each of our stories differently. Rather than comparing our grief journey to another’s, we can trust God to be with us throughout our journey. We can also invite others into our grief, saying something like, “I don’t know why this year is so hard for me. Last year I felt fine, but this year I really miss my husband’s homemade egg nog.”

3. Be intentional about expressing your grief.

In addition to inviting others into our grief, we also may need to explore what we’re feeling. Journaling, talking with a good friend, and praying can help us discover more specific sources of our sorrow. For example, through journaling prayers, I discovered my disappointment that my mom died before she could welcome her first great-grandchild.

Sometimes our family and friends don’t know how to respond to our grief. Thankfully, Scripture gives us models for lament, showing us how to take our grief to God. Over seventy percent of the Psalms are lament Psalms. They generally follow a fourfold structure:

Turning to God
Naming your grief to God
Asking God for help
Expressing restored confidence in God.

Even when we don’t know what to pray, praying one of the lament Psalms can help us express our grief (See Psalm 3, 6, 22, 28, 31, 44, 56, 57, 71, 77, 86, 88).

If you’re a paid subscriber, scroll down for a printable exercise for praying a personal lament.

4. Consider which holiday traditions you want to preserve, and which to save for another year.

The familiarity of traditions can provide comfort, but at the same time, carrying on a tradition without the loved one’s participation can be painful. Consider which, if any, traditions you’d like to preserve this year, knowing you may do things differently next year. You might also creatively alter traditions. For example, if your husband always put the star on top of the tree, and he is no longer able, consider letting a grandchild do it this year. Or if you don’t feel like attending the local production of the Nutcracker, you might donate money to the dance company in honor of a loved one.

No matter what you decide to do regarding traditions, remember to be patient with yourself, as God is with you. Know that your Heavenly Father isn’t wondering why you didn’t make your famous oyster dressing this year. Know that your Heavenly Father isn’t disappointed in you for skipping the big family Christmas party. Know that your Heavenly Father delights in you and rejoices over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).

5. Seek out doable ways to serve others.

A study by the United Health group “found that most people felt mentally and physically healthier after a volunteer experience, mostly in relation to mood improvement, lower stress levels, and enhanced sense of purpose.” While we don’t want to use serving as a substitute for grieving, and we must be wary of overwhelming ourselves with others’ pain as we serve, some acts of service can help us heal. This may be the year to serve a meal at the local food bank, or it may be the year to call up a lonely friend and invite them out for coffee.

God has designed and called us to “love our neighbor,” “to be fruitful and multiply”; finding bite-sized ways to share his goodness will benefit us and others.

6. Take good care of your health.

Eat well (but not too well). Exercise. Sleep. Yes, Cousin Sally’s “Hot Fudge Brownie Delights” are delicious, and by all means, if your doctor approves, have one. But remember to do everything in moderation, enjoying the food and drink served up at the holidays, but not overindulging. Because walking improves mood and health, make it a regular practice, even if you have to do laps around the living room.

Grief deeply affects the body; in this season, we want to be kinder than ever to the bodies God gave us, nurturing and protecting them as we have been called to do (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Let’s pray for one another…

Dear friends, I will be praying for you as I invite you to pray for me over the coming weeks and months. May the Lord bless us and keep us. May the Lord show us his abundant grace for every moment of grief. May we draw near to him, as he has drawn near to us.

And — if you’re willing to share — what are some ways you’ve found to cope with grief during the holidays? Please share in the comments (someone else might need your idea) or by sending me a message.

Do you know someone who might be grieving during the holidays? Please consider sharing this with them if you think it would encourage them. Thank you!

Finally, if you’re a paid subscriber, don’t forget to scroll down to download your lament worksheet. If you don’t need it, you can share it with someone who might.

Thanks again for joining me. I love writing for readers like you!

By his grace,

Elizabeth

Elizabeth Reynolds Turnage

Elizabeth is a life and legacy coach who offers gospel-centered wisdom and equipping to help you live, prepare, and share your life and legacy.

Subscribe now to get free coaching tips from Elizabeth to help you with your aging, caregiving, legacy, and end-of-life.

A Prayer about Honoring Jesus

by Elizabeth | Mar 11, 2024 | Daily Prayer, Gospel living, Spiritual Growth

A Prayer about Honoring Jesus

In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.

Matthew 26:12-13

Lord Jesus,

How often we,

like the disciples,

have different values than yours.

They were alarmed that Mary had anointed your head

with her expensive ointment (Matthew 26:6-7; John 12:3).

Religious and practical,

they called her sacrifice “a waste,”

saying the ointment could have been sold

and the money given to the poor (Matthew 26:8).

(Judas was disgusted because he wanted to sell it

and take the money for himself (John 12:6).

You disagreed, telling the disciples,

“she has done a beautiful thing for me” (Matthew 26:10).

You knew you would soon die,

and your followers’ opportunity

to enjoy and honor you in person

would come to an end.

Save us, Lord, from our self-made plans to serve you.

Draw us to your feet, to see you as Mary did,

to know your desires as Mary did,

and to love you “impractically” as Mary did.

Grow our enjoyment of you,

so that we will delight in your presence

and focus our lives fully on you.

In our devotion to you,

may we show the world the good news

of your sacrifice for us.

In your worship-worthy name. Amen.

Read Matthew 26:6-16.

Planning to Prepare Your Legacy: 7 Steps to Begin Sharing Your Legacy

by Elizabeth | Mar 11, 2024 | legacy, life and legacy coaching

Planning to Prepare Your Legacy: 7 Steps to Begin Sharing Your Legacy

If you’ve been around my blog for awhile, you know why I’m passionate about helping people prepare a practical and spiritual legacy: first, my father died in 2017, leaving very little guidance about his wishes despite the fact that he knew for two years of his terminal diagnosis; and second, my mother died unexpectedly in 2021, leaving clear guidelines and all of the information I needed as executor of her will. She also left a beautiful spiritual legacy of stories, values, and wisdom in a number of forms—grandmother’s journal for the kids as well as boxes of memorabilia she kept for them, cards I sent her, and stories about topics like her favorite memory of me.

In the past two years, though, I’ve discovered a new impetus for my desire to prepare my own legacy, especially my spiritual one—grandchildren. As I’ve enjoyed the privilege of rocking four precious newborns, I see their intense eyes gazing up at me, and I almost hear their questions: tell me about this world, Zizi, tell me about God, tell me about who I am, and tell me about who these other people are.

Despite my passion for legacies, though, I have procrastinated writing and recording the stories I want to tell them. So I am beginning the year with some planning and hope you will join me. Even if you don’t have children or grandchildren, you have people in your life who will be blessed by your legacy, both practical and spiritual. Why not make some specific goals for preparing these legacies as the year begins?

1. Pray about your goals.

As you do so, ask the Spirit to give you a vision for what you would like to have accomplished on this day in 2024. You might want to write your vision as a story of what you will have done and how you will feel about it. Consider these examples:

“I will have seen the lawyer to update my will. He will have helped me think through the hard decisions, and it is done. I feel such a sense of relief to have made the changes I needed to make.”

Mine says, “I will have created a 24-page book on Mixbook that weaves together my favorite stories of redemption with some stories and photos from my childhood. It won’t be comprehensive, because I know I can always do another one. I will feel excited to share these books with my children and grandchildren.”

2. Spend thirty minutes making appointments on your calendar to work on your legacy.

Consider setting regularly scheduled times for working on your goals. I find that if I schedule thirty minutes to an hour to work on something, I often spend more time doing it than I originally planned. I just need the event scheduled to get me going.

Add deadlines, false and real, to get things done. I might want to print the books as Christmas gifts for my family, so I would need to set a goal to work monthly on the book and to finish by late October.

3. Set mini-goals.

If I wrote, “I will finish the entire book by late October,” my plan would be doomed to fail because it would be too overwhelming, and I would quit.

Instead, I might set the goal, “Write one redemption story in January, February, and March. Gather lists of verses in April. Gather photos in May and June. Write prayers in July. Edit and put together in August and September.”

You might write, “Find a lawyer in January. Make an appointment in February. Spend March, April, and May doing any research needed and making final decisions. Revisit the lawyer in June. Receive final copy of new will in August.” (And you’d be done four months early, so you could spend the last four months recording some favorite stories.)

4. Expect resistance.

Whenever we make plans to enjoy and glorify God in specific ways, we can expect resistance. Author Steven Pressfield nails the heart of resistance:

“Resistance’s goal is not to wound or disable. Resistance aims to kill. Its target is the epicenter of our being: our genius, our soul, the unique and priceless gift we were put on earth to give and that no one else has but us.”

Pressfield’s definition of resistance reminds me of Peter’s description of the devil, who “prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Whenever we make plans to multiply God’s glory, the devil will seek to destroy our mission.

Armed with faith, the remembrance of how God has helped us in the past; hope, the vision of the joy we will experience when we share our legacy; and love, the blessing of others with the gift of our legacy, we can move forward.

5. Consider the obstacles.

Once we’ve recognized and named resistance, we can go on a seek and destroy mission with the obstacles. What’s keeping you from completing your goals? Make a list, trying to be very specific.

For example, one of the reasons I have not been recording my spiritual legacy is that until I wrote this article, I didn’t have a clear idea of what I wanted it to be. I had a Grandmother’s Journal I didn’t like the look of, so I never wrote in it. Maybe you aren’t visiting the lawyer because you don’t know a good estate lawyer. Or maybe you don’t want to work on your binder of important information because it makes you sad to think about the day your loved ones might need it.

When we name our obstacles, we more easily find ways to overcome them. Writing this article helped me clarify a vision for a final product and to name that I will still want to create more books along the way. You might ask your friends at church or on social media for the name of a good lawyer. You might have coffee with a friend and talk about the sadness you feel as you try to prepare your legacy.

6. Get help.

God made us to be dependent on him, and he made us to grow in the context of the body of Christ. Reach out to family and friends to help you overcome your obstacles. Consider enrolling in the self-paced Organizing Your Life and Legacy workshop, or contact me to discuss life and legacy coaching. We all need cheerleaders to spur us on as we move toward our goals.

7. Be gracious with yourself.

You may have wonderful plans, and you may be making your way toward reaching them when you get a phone call that your mother has fallen and broken her hip. Suddenly, all of those Saturdays you had planned to work on your practical or spiritual legacy need to be spent helping your mom around her house. Recognize the divine interruption, and embrace the opportunity to serve your mom, trusting that the Spirit will provide another way and time for you to prepare your legacy.

As always, I’d love to hear from you. What’s your motivation for preparing your legacy? What goals do you have for the coming year? What obstacles are you facing? You can share in the comments or email me here.

Elizabeth Reynolds Turnage is a life and legacy coach, author, and speaker who helps you live, prepare, and share your practical and spiritual legacy. She recently published the book, Preparing for Glory: Biblical Answers to 40 Questions on Living and Dying in Hope of Heaven (affiliate link). Contact Elizabeth or find more resources at www.elizabethturnage.com

Elizabeth Reynolds Turnage

Elizabeth is a life and legacy coach who offers gospel-centered wisdom and equipping to help you live, prepare, and share your life and legacy.

Subscribe now to get free coaching tips from Elizabeth to help you with your aging, caregiving, legacy, and end-of-life.