Whew. Yesterday was a bit of a whirlwind as I visited my shoulder doc in Columbus to hear his conclusions about my left shoulder, my “good” shoulder. Determined to use waiting time productively, I tried to type my post on my Droid as I waited to be called for pre-op labwork (my good doc thinks surgery, not WAITING, will be the best way to repair the tear and tendinosis in my shoulder and bicep.)
For whatever reason, that post never went live, which is probably a good thing because who knows what words the Droid substituted for my well-meant ones?:)
Here’s what I want to say about my confusion about “waiting.”
I have always happily sung along with the song, Everlasting God, which repeats the title sentence. I imagined myself as waiting for some good result to come (my shoulder to be repaired) and strength rising as I sat patiently waiting.
This week it occurred to me that there is another kind of waiting we must do if we are servants to the King (see Sept. 22). We “wait upon” him. We come before him daily, hourly, often, to ask what his kingdom business is. Sometimes waiting involves doing; many times it involves doing nothing.
Here’s a small silly example from yesterday. By the afternoon, I was getting a little grumpy, having arisen at 2:30 Central time. I had plenty of time as I waited in the pre-op appointment area to start a quite festive pity party. But then someone came along and lifted my sagging head, gently, by the chin, so I could see the people around me. (I’m pretty sure that was the Holy Spirit.)
A very frail looking elderly woman in a wheelchair. Her frazzled looking daughter pushing her. A happy-looking child in a wheelchair. A furious-looking athletic young man.
Then the nurse came. I saw her frown from across the room and I feared to approach. I steeled myself to just get through it.
A few minutes later, after a couple of unpleasant interactions,
God said, “Be nice to that ornery nurse who wants to take your blood.”
“But God…she’s mean. She didn’t crack a smile at my joke and she ordered me to pee in a cup.”
“Look into her eyes. See how tired she is.” “I’m tired too.”
“I know you’re tired too. Why don’t you rest in me and smile at her?”
Here’s what I recgognized in that small moment. I was thinking yesterday about being a servant, about “waiting on the Lord.” I was also quite ready to serve myself and steel myself to get through the hard stuff. Instead the Spirit awakened me to the Lord’s plans, His story so much bigger than my own small one. As I “waited” upon him, I had to “wait” upon him to receive the power, love, and strength to serve this woman, who did, by the way, soften. She smiled at me. She told me about taking her mom up to Atlanta for medical care and commiserated that it is hard to travel for care. She gave me her “personal” phone number (at her desk:) in case I had any questions. Honestly, all I did was smile and look at her.
Because I waited upon the Lord. And boy did he show up.
