How I Quit Competing for the Mother-of-the-Year Award

by Elizabeth | May 9, 2014 | Learning Story

It seems to hit seasonally.  Usually around May or June, which would be difficult enough with kids’ stressing over exams and piano recitals and final push choir rehearsals for tour, not to mention the years one of ours is graduating from something, which, with four spaced two years apart, happens fairly frequently.  But then you add what I call the ‘birthday’ season, when each of my children turns another year older – May 10, June 1, June 10, and August 10.  And what happens is the ever-elusive-mother-of-the-year award, which I had really thought lay within my grasp, slips away.

You should understand that this is not a local, national, nor global award.  It exists simply in my mind and is for me alone, to gain or to lose, based on my motherhood performance.  There is a point system – I get so many points for helping a child through a major crisis without losing my temper or showing my fear.  More points for not yelling when all four plus their friends have managed to empty all of the cabinets of the dishes and leave them on the counter, dirtied, mere inches from the dishwasher which strikes me as their appropriate destination.  Even more when we make it through a major life event with something resembling family shalom, everyone present and accounted for and actually happy for the person whose moment it is to shine.

But then.  In the midst of these busy months, something happens.  Choir and bell rehearsals crash my fantasy family vacation by lasting from 6 – 11 p.m. every night.  We arrive at the DMV missing one of the 99 forms you now have to produce to get your learner’s license.  And, the one that always puts me over – one of my children brings me an item of clothing that needs to be hemmed for the performance – 15 minutes before departure time.  And the points slide away faster than warm chocolate brownies placed on our island after dinner.

As you can see, it’s a tough way to live, and I imagine none of you knows what it feels like to set up a system of judging yourself that always leaves you holding the bag designated to be placed over your head so no one can see what a messed-up mom you are!  Thankfully, I found a way to win.  Well, I should say, a way to win was shown to me.  It turns out there is a Judge who has already judged me, and He declares me delightful – yes, even as a mom.  He molds me and shapes me, sure, and works even all that worry and wasted effort to His glory.  When I screw it up – by setting up a point system for motherhood in the first place, He so kindly, so gently, draws me to Himself and says, “Elizabeth, come rest in me.  Try out my way of doing things – it’s really easy.”  Because not only is there now no condemnation in Christ Jesus, there is greater love and delight from the One who knows our harried hearts and has already declared us more-than-a-mother-of-the-year.

¹⁴Sing, O Daughter of Zion;

shout aloud, O Israel!

Be glad and rejoice with all your heart,

O Daughter of Jerusalem!

¹⁵The Lord has taken away your punishment,

he has turned back your enemy.

The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you;

never again will you fear any harm.

¹⁶On that day they will say to Jerusalem,

“Do not fear, O Zion;

do not let your hands hang limp.

¹⁷The Lord your God is with you,

he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing.”